Oscars 2013: Zero Dark Thirty

 

 

 

Well, here it is! The final Best Picture nominee of the Oscar themed food posts, Zero Dark Thirty. I have been putting it out there what a hard time I’ve had coming up with fun food for this movie. I’ve loved all the ideas many of you have emailed me! Zero Dark Thirsty, Zero Dark Thirtini, Gyro Dark Thirty, Zero Dark Chocolate Cake and what I think is my favorite, Hot on the Trail Mix! I promised a $10 coffee gift card to any reader who sent in an idea which would inspire a post on Food It Forward. So, Cara, I am sending a Starbucks card your way!

Thank you all for such great ideas! The hot on the trail mix helped me think outside the box of the movie title. Ready for it?

Osama Bin Hidin’ (In Yo’ Dessert)

I’m kind of hoping I have some readers who read the title with the word desert, instead of dessert. Anyhow, here’s how it goes.

Step One: Gather your ingredients. I have chosen a dark chocolate brownie mix, dark chocolate ice cream and a dark salted flavor caramel sauce and chocolate covered cherries. Remember, think dark. You know I am usually not a fan of boxed stuff, but Ghiradelli brownies are always an exception in my world.

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Step Two: Hide Osama at the bottom of your dessert dish. Please don’t think I mean anything by Osama being a chocolate covered cherry. The cherry inside is more about blood than a sweet heart. Do you feel sad for OBL, all alone in that dark dish? Me neither.

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I didn’t do this the first go around, but I’d suggest melting your chocolate covered cherry for 10-15 seconds in the microwave. He’ll be easier to kill that way. I over did it at about 25 seconds.

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Step Three: Hide Bin Laden in a cave of ice cream. Cover that ice cream with rocky  mounds of brownie. Drizzle your dark topping of choice.

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It’s hunting time! You and your crew can each go searching for the Target. No torture involved.

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Now, you and your guests go in for the kill!

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Like I said before, Osama will be easier to kill and a bit bloodier if you melt him in the hot Middle Eastern microwave first.

DISCLAIMER:

This is all in the name of the Oscars and the movie, Zero Dark Thirty. I have not seen the movie. I don’t condone killing anyone. Hey, Al Qaeda, I’m sure Osama was nice to some of you. In other words, although I am 35, I’m still to young to die. Please don’t come find me and kill me.

This fear has probably come from the old neighbors I just ran into at Target. They told me a story of how Homeland Security now uses their old phone number to catch a Terrorist, who….GET THIS….still lives about 50 yards from me. Huh?! They had to flee the country, but came back for the daughter’s medical needs. These ladies either have a serious exaggeration problem, or I need to buy an attack dog. Not sure which one. They would always bring Dallas cute gifts and love on him when he was a baby. So, I kind of believe them out of guilt. How’s that for movie-style drama?

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Oscars 2013: Les Miserables

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Someday, someday I say, I will learn how to type an accent with my keyboard and it won’t look like this: Les Mise’rables. That’s an apostrophe  not an accent. Am I right? Am I blind? Am I hungry? Nope, I just ate a bowl of Les wonderful soup.

This is the second to last Best Picture nominee post and it has been a tough one! There were too many options for this movie and I couldn’t narrow it down to something easy and yummy without some contemplation.

On the way home from our weekend getaway, Jy (Mr. Movie Fuel) gave me plenty of fun ideas. My favorite? Les Fisherables. Really? Les Fisherables? After discussing the possibility of injecting a baguette with wine and brie, Jy stumbled onto the fact that French Onion Soup was too, a meal of the poor. Bingo! I’m poor, so it sounded like a match made in heaven.

As we all know, plenty of chefs have had their hands on French Onion Soup and have classed up the beefy pot quite a bit. I’m doubting the French who rose up against the aristocracy were preparing their soups with organic croutons, Gruyère and sherry. I’m thinking more along the lines of rotten onions and hopefully some bone broth!

Luckily, I found a recipe that is light on the wallet, good for the body and easy on the cook. I’ve added a slice of french bread into my soup, which is not done in the, as it is meant to be a “clean recipe”. The Gracious Pantry is an awesome site to read about clean eating and find almost any recipe to replace your old, dirty, fat food. Did I just make you drool there? Mmm, old, dirty fat food!

Here we go! Remember, this ain’t my recipe, it’s straight from The Gracious Pantry!

Clean Eating French Onion Soup

Ingredients:

  • Note: Slice your onions thin. It makes the texture of the soup far more enjoyable.
  • 4 cups beef broth (I used the organic “Pacific” brand)
  • 2 onions
  • 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. olive oil
  • Parmesan Cheese

Directions:

  1. Clean and slice your onions.
  2. In a soup pot, sauté your onions in the olive oil until they are soft.
  3. Add beef broth and vinegar to the pot and boil until the liquid has cooked down by approximately half.
  4. Serve sprinkled with approximately 2 tbsp. parmesan cheese sprinkled over the top.

 

Again, bread makes the world better, so I’ve added a slice to my soup. Yeah, I’ll suffer the gluten consequences, but who am I to talk of suffering? I never had to diet the way Anne Hathaway did for her role in Les Mis. That, my friends, is suffering. Although her millions of dollars may have soothed her hunger pains. Wait, does cash have carbs?

Oscars 2013: Silver Linings Playbook

While Silver Linings Playbook is still on my must-see list, I’ve done a bit of research. From what it sounds like, the majority of websites suggest I make crabby snacks or homemades.

Crabby snacks are a lot like the tuna melts my family loved to make, back in the day. Instead of canned tuna on a buttered english muffin, crabby snacks class it up with some canned crab. That doesn’t sound super amazing to me, but who am I to judge?

Homemades are either homemade noodles or pizza with hamburger or chicken on top, depending on what you read. No and no. Not feeling like whipping up either.

My favorite suggestion is the idea of using football watching snacks as an Oscar night dish. Bradley Cooper’s character is a Philidelphia Eagles superfan and serving buffalo wings is perfectly acceptable in my playbook.

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I made these buffalo wings for the Superbowl and its sad, sad, outcome.

The recipe is from The Pioneer Woman and is totally easy to prepare, especially if you have a deep fryer.

Pioneer Woman’s Buffalo Wings

All this recipe requires is some frying and dipping.

I’m still working my way towards Zero Dark Thirty and I have loved all your suggestions so far. I found a fun idea on a site I can’t seem to find again! Let me know if you are familiar with Puzzler or a site that sounds something like it. Listen to this idea, Gyro Dark Thirty! How funny is that? I have no idea how to make Gyros, so I think I’ll stick with some of your ideas.

You’ll be seeing FoFo posts start rolling in a little faster than they have been, so keep checking back. The Oscars are coming soon and there is nothing like celebrating millionaires with swag bags and gold statues.

Oscars 2013: Beasts of the Southern Wild

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Beasts of the Southern Wild is waiting in my mailbox for me to come home from a holiday weekend escape. I’m enjoying the peace that comes with high, snowy altitude, a warm pine burning fireplace and working wi-fi! Last visit to Lake Almanor, Sprint offered me such spotty service I thought I would drop dead within a week. My kids are experiencing the snow for the first time and I’m drinking in lattes, wine and mountain air.

I’ve received a few emails asking where the newest Oscar recipes are. I feel so appreciated that there are actually readers who care, so THANK YOU!

There are plenty of Oscar night food options to accompany the best picture nominees. This movie lends itself well to food choices, the main character shares the name of a common fried fied of the south, Hushpuppy.

I just couldn’t bring myself to fry up some hushpuppies for the sake of the blog. If you are a hushpuppy lover and feel like frying up some corn meal and flour, you go on and rock those hushpuppies, friend.

There are fun southern drink options, like sweet tea or whiskey based cocktails, but I’d be making them just to photograph and then toss.

Now, you may find this choice of recipes to be a stretch. I can promise you though, that if you search for this recipe with the word “southern” at the start, Google will offer you plenty of results. Plus, this recipe originated in my kitchen via Paula Deen’s kitchen. It doesn’t get more southern than the gal I love to hate, Paula.

I have made (flourless) Peanut Butter Sweet and Salty Cookies, ya’ll! The original recipe is simple and doesn’t include salt. This movie, from what I hear is sweet and bitter, hence, so are the cookies! This is one of those recipes that you will use forever. It’s easy, it is gluten-free and it is super tasty!

You’ll need:

1 cup sugar (raw or white)
1 egg
1 cup peanut butter (smooth)
Extra sugar for sprinkling
Salt for sprinkling (medium to larger sized crystals work best)

Mix the first three ingredients and spoon onto baking sheets. Criss cross fork marks onto the tops of the cookies and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
Immediately sprinkle the cookies with the extra sugar, then go over with a very light sprinkling of salt.

Let cool and don’t eat more than 80.

Oscars 2013: Lincoln

I have yet to make it out to see this movie, but I am super excited to see Daniel Day Lewis. Just look how MUCH he looks like Abraham Lincoln in this movie poster!

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Uncanny, right?

Actually, I don’t want to start getting sued for using celebrity photos on my blog. I best read myself up these here laws of the land before I keep pasting in photos of DiCaprio. You never know when you might run across a meany, right? Not everyone can be as sweet and cooperative as Lance Armstrong.

Hubby has to use the computer, I’ve got a lot to say. Gotta type fast.

First, I’m still loving my iPhone and all of its crazy auto corrects. I don’t know where the idea came from that you have to had typed a word before your phone will correct what you are writing to said word. Example:

Husband (while at the grocery store, using the list I sent via iphone) – “Did you really want me to ask where the Adonis is?”

Me – “You mean, the adobe?”

Husband – “Is that what it’s supposed to say?”

I told him to ask someone where they keep the Greek Gods.

Of course, I can’t write about some of the other auto corrects. That’s what http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com is for, right? On to the pie!

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It’s no secret that Abraham Lincoln loved apple pie. It’s not really common knowledge, either. But the info is out there and I’m happy it is, I needed an easy Oscar food connection. Zero Dark Thirty is ka-hilling me! I figured that Lincoln, the progressive that he was, would totally be down with making an inclusive apple pie for all to eat. Hence, vegan, gluten-free apple pie!

I found a recipe for an almond flour based crust on the blog, 86 Lemons and it looked so beautiful! Next time, I will use butter to make my crust, as I can get tired of coconut oil fairly quickly. The recipe for the crust is not a tough one, though I’d suggest starting with a single crust if you aren’t a super baker. (You can join my club, non-baking stars.) Head over for the recipe!